Still a struggle...

Three weeks ago yesterday was my surgery and I've come a long way and made progress, but bending my knee to the proper degree (according to my physical therapist) continues to kick my butt.  Like Helaina's speech therapy was, my physical therapy is a 24-hour a day job - with "homework" to do at home to keep up the progress.  I actually created a chart with everything I'm supposed to do at home and how many times a day I'm supposed to do certain exercises.  My day consists of hot pads to loosen up muscles, then many exercises, bends and stretches, then icing my knee - then repeat, repeat, repeat.  It's insane and slightly depressing.  I haven't shed this many tears in years.
The other night after dinner I escaped into the quiet living room to lay down and it wasn't too long before my little doctor came looking for me.  Helaina walked into the room and put her hand on my forehead.  I asked her "How is it?".  She said "Not too bad.  A little hot, a little cold." and took off.  She returned with her safety glasses on carrying her Fisher Price doctor's kit.  As she started giving me a check-up I yelled into Jim "Get the camera.  You've got to see this!"

Blood pressure, just like a pro.

Listen to the heart.  She also checked my ears.

Ok, this is the most adorable doctor I've ever seen.

Diagnosis?  Unfortunately I needed a shot!

My weekend will consist of the same grueling home therapy exercises.  My therapist gave me a goal to reach by Monday - to sit in a chair with my knee bent enough so that my leg is straight down and my foot rests flatly on the floor.  I'm almost there - especially after my 80 minute out-patient therapy session today.  I thought I was finished being tortured this afternoon at therapy, Jim and Helaina were waiting for me and my therapist came over to me and said "We've got to bend and stretch that leg once more before you go.  Are you ready?  Relax your leg, I'm going to hold your knee with one hand and push back on your leg at the ankle.  When the pain gets to be too much let me know then we'll hold it there for 10 seconds.  We have to do this 10 times.  Ready?"  Uh yah, as the tears started streaming down my face.  Let's just say there were many groans, grunts, moans, "geez's" and "please stop's".  When finished I hobbled out to the waiting area where Jim said to me "Was that you?"  Yup, that was the sound of your wife writhing in pain.  So what's new?



We interrupt our regularly scheduled blogging...

to become bionic.  I had a date with a surgeon on June 28th to finally fix my broken down knee (almost 2 years overdue).  Do I procrastinate?  About certain things, yes.  It's been a heck of a 2 weeks.  Surgery, 3 days in the hospital, nurse's visits at home (3 so far), physical therapy at home (7 so far with 2 more this week), lots of heavy duty pain meds, lots of "ouch"ing, moaning and tears - mostly me but I'm sure Jim has felt the urge too!  Jim has had to step up to the plate and take over everything, and has done so splendidly.  Unfortunately his "bad back" decided to go out just before my surgery and he's on pain meds and muscle relaxers too.  The other night Helaina was flanked by me on one side of the couch with my leg elevated on 100 pillows and iced like crazy, and Jim on her other side with the heating pad.  Poor kid with her geriatric parents.  I found this picture on the kitchen table this morning, apparently some artwork that Jim and Helaina did last night.  It says it all.

Physical therapy is kicking my butt.  I knew it wasn't going to be easy and I heard it was painful but I had NO IDEA just how painful.  My leg was bruised and swollen from above my knee down to my ankle and heel.  The therapist measured my knees around the joints and my surgical knee was swollen to 8 INCHES larger than my non-surgical knee.  8 inches!!! I swear I had an elephant leg like Suri at the zoo.  It's gone down a bit but the swelling can last for months.  I had my first post-op appointment today at the doctor's and all is well.  Incision looks good, I'm walking good, making "as expected" progress with my range of motion.  I've graduated from the walker to a cane and can now go upstairs and get in and out of the shower.  I'm still sleeping on the first floor on the couch, though.  I'd love to get back in our bed but I toss, turn, moan, groan, get up for pain meds and am so restless that Jim wouldn't get any sleep.  Maybe tomorrow night I'll head upstairs and see how it goes.  My job now is go push myself harder than I've ever done before to get a good result and return range of motion.  My home therapist are great.  I've got a "weekend guy" who I've seen twice  and then my regular weekly dude for all the rest of the home visits.  Very kind, knowledgeable, patient, reassuring guys who know more than you could ever imagine.  Some of our conversations have been funny.

Heel slides are the worst and L. always "helps" me by pushing by heel back and bending my knee to the breaking point.

Me:  That's as far as I can go.

L:  You can go farther.  I'll help you.

Me:  You mean you'll hurt me.  Ok.

L:  Here we go.  Pull, pull, pull, bend, bend, bend.

Me:  Please!  Stop.  I'm begging you please!!!

L:  Remember to breathe.  Stop clenching the couch. Just 5, 4, 3, 2, 1 and down.

Me:  (with tears streaming down my face)  Geez, giving birth was easier than this.  It's a good thing you're a nice guy or I'd hate you.  I thought you were supposed to be nice and gentle with fresh surgical sites and not bend them to the point of bursting.

L:  Knee replacements are different.  I haven't had any sutures or staples fly out and hit me in the face yet so we're good.

Me:  Reassuring.

Helaina's been so good under these less-than-perfect circumstances, helping us out whenever she can.  She's my little cheerleader when doing therapy.  "Good Mom.  Good job.  Keep it up." while she claps her hands.  I had a weak moment the other night on the couch (one of many) and was crying and whining to Jim "I'll never be able to do anything this summer.  I can't take Helaina to the library or the zoo.  I can't go swimming yet.  I can't drive and head out to a bounce house, the mall or the beach.  This affects Helaina's fun this summer too."  And my amazing little gal who was sitting next to me said "Mom, it will be ok.  Just keep doing your physical therapy and exercises and you'll be able to do that stuff real soon."  Little sweetie.  Well, I've been upright enough.  Time to go wake up Jim who has probably fallen asleep on the couch watching TV, get my "bedroom" set up with cushions, pillows, ice packs, phone, TV remote, water bottle and my bottle of pain meds that I could probably sell on the street for thousands of dollars!  I pray for a peaceful, uneventful night of sleep all the way through to the morning.  Ahh, that would be nice but I'm not hopeful.  I have to be up and ready for a 9am visit from my sadistic physical therapist for 50 minutes of torture.  Push, push, push, pull, pull, pull, bend, bend, bend, lunge, lunge, lunge, hold it - yah, yah, yah, torture.  Like I said, natural childbirth was way easier than this.